X-Rayed Sex: “The 2 Different Blowjobs”

By LeNair Xavier

Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.


Recently, it has gotten to a frustrating point of how my ass seems to make a good number of my tops come fast. I know drugs can have an effect on how quickly a guy orgasms, and admittedly, some of my tops have done poppers at the very least, and cocaine at the most (FYI – this is not a plug for such substances). However, all of such substances are known to make a top take forever to come. That is, if it doesn’t kill his hard-on first.

I then considered how I know for a fact that some of the orgasms are not premature ejaculation. For those tops are ones that I’ve been with before, and they lasted for quite a pleasing while during those trysts. That makes me conclude that the main contributing factor to their quick orgasms is not them. It’s me.

And not totally in a toot-my-own-horn kind of way.

Part of the tooting my own horn definitely goes to my ass. I do exactly as I have often written in my articles for years now. I don’t do poppers, but I definitely do kegels.

And here’s a side note putting aside my overall issue with poppers for a moment: In regards to anal maintenance alone, use of poppers is counterproductive if you are not also doing kegels.

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Anyway, yes, from the view outside and the feel when a guy is inside, I have a mind-blowing ass. But as I said before, I’ve had guys who can do a fuck marathon if I bottom for them. Well, after all this time of this happening, it finally dawned on me as to what might be causing those quick orgasms.

It’s my blowjobs.

When I go down on a guy whether it’s for foreplay or to replace intercourse, I give the same vigor, and do the same tricks with just as much intensity. That is my mistake. I’m realizing now that perhaps there are 2 different types of blowjobs I should have been promoting all along– One for foreplay and one to replace intercourse.

The difference between which is which depends on communication and knowledge of your sex partner’s intent. Which also leads to a difference in what is done between the 2 different blowjob intents. Differences that I’ll use as a reference my “X-Rayed Sex” article “4 Blowjob Tricks, 5 Rules of BJ Etiquette.”

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Foreplay Blowjob

For a blowjob that is strictly for foreplay, focus on the first 2 of my suggested tricks – 1) Keep it moist and 2) Tongue & Suck.

Keeping your mouth moist should be obvious as to why that is a necessity. Tongue and suck is because all you’re trying to do is give your top an erection.

Don’t follow porn and do Tongue & Suck for too long. I can tell you one of the reasons I hate receiving blowjobs is because so many guys try to imitate porn by doing only a Tongue & Suck for long lengths of time when the blowjob is supposed to be strictly for foreplay. Once I’m hard, I’m ready to enter him. Instead, they keep going like they’re auditioning for a BelAmi video. And that leads to me becoming bored and losing the very hard-on your oral skills initially created.

Plus, porn actors now use Viagra (and/or other male sexual enhancement substances) to make them not cum so easily. That’s why if you’re a bottom that’s lubed up, once you make your top hard, relax, take a deep breath, and guide your top’s cock inside.

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Blowjob replacing intercourse

This is when you use all 4 of my listed blowjob tricks from that article. My previous problem is that I was doing Tricks 3 (Hummmm) & 4 (Play with his taint) even when I’m giving a Foreplay Blowjob.

The problem with using Tricks 3 & 4 when you’re only giving a blowjob as foreplay is shown by how the humming when his cock is at the back of your throat and playing with his taint cause his cock to throb. Such throbs are signs of his cock preparing for when he is getting ready to ejaculate. Much like when he is penetrating an ass or pussy. So once you bring your top to that point, take it as a sign to slow down. Revert back to Tricks 1 & 2. Then Tricks 3 & 4. Go back and forth between these 2 pairs for the entire suck session. However, you should focus solely on humming while deep-throating and playing with the taint when either you want him to cum because you’re tired of sucking, or he’s shown that he is ready to come.

With all that said, if you learn nothing else from this article, learn this:

I might be often referred to as “sexpert”, but that doesn’t mean that I stop learning about sexuality because of that title. For every sexual encounter is a learning experience. And I’m welcoming of the new knowledge, so I can pass it on to you.

 


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LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, TumblrTwitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.

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