X-Rayed Sex: “Anal Sex: No Jizz Required”

By LeNair Xavier

Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.


I recall at one of my (4 too many) meetings with Lucas Entertainment, Michael Lucas asked me if I could “cum while being fucked”. There were 2 things I found wrong with that question:

  1. It implies that in anal sex, the only “fucking” that happens is a top fucking a  bottom’s ass, but never a bottom fucking a top’s dick (which I proved wrong bottoming in my XTube video “Why It’s WE Fucked”), and;
  2. It also implies the only way for a male to show sexual satisfaction is that he must ejaculate.

Both of these things are further proof that unless you have sought out the proper education (as I did before, during, and since my time in the porn industry), doing porn and/or owning a porn company does not make one an expert on sex. Especially the mental aspect of sex, which many forget exist, male-produced porn hardly ever shows you, and is why ejaculations are not a necessity to show sexual satisfaction.

Hence why my answer to Michael Lucas’ question was “Sometimes.” An outright lie I am admitting to with this article. For my answer appeased Michael Lucas’ ignorance on how to show sexual satisfaction. Had I instead owned my truth, I could have broadened many minds on the matter. So take this article as “better late than never” on me enlightening
people on this matter.

My knowing that ejaculation was unnecessary in showing my sexual satisfaction was not only by me reading books. It was simply by me knowing my own body, and enjoying sex based on the knowledge I’ve accumulated by its responses. Even if those responses contradict the messages many porn movies teach us to have.

Another example from my porn days is how in “The Interview” when I bottomed for Favian Gotti in a 4-man orgy, you might recall that at the end of that scene, I was the only one who didn’t do a cumshot. The reasons I gave for that in “The Great Gotten From Gotti” was that

  1. it was my retaliation towards the incompetence of the director Tyson Cane underplaying the worth of seeing my endowment on camera, and
  2. he being super cheap on paying me to come back and shoot on a day I wasn’t scheduled with the reason not being my fault.

There’s actually a third reason. That reason being for me giving no cumshot is that as also told in that tale, Favian Gotti was the best sex I ever had for a porn industry camera. I left out that it was good enough that for the first and only time in my porn career, I had no desire to jerk off and complete whatever pleasure I got from the sex by giving a cumshot. As far as my body was concerned, an orgasm was already had. A mental one. So even trying to give a cumshot would have been me furthering porn’s bad message that puts unneeded pressure on both a bottom and his top.

As I get older and more comfortable with my body sexually, I let go more during sex. Because of that, I have found myself more prone to pre-cumming, and in some
cases cumming
. Some might say that easily happens to porn actors and some younger guys. That might be true. However, due to the aforementioned pressure put on many by porn and other outside influences, not many can honestly say that such responses are from them simply letting go on their own. Many of them use poppers, alcohol, or some kind of controlled substance during sex for that “letting go”. So based on what I’ve seen, not many can claim to let go on their own. Thereby making that “letting go” fake. Hence further motivation to write this article. I want to get us away from that chemically-enhanced “letting go”, and guide us to natural sexual freedom. Experiencing all the bliss and satisfaction an orgasm can bring. Even a mental orgasm, which is what I usually
experience when I bottom.

You touching his skin. Him touching yours. The look in his eyes when you can see he is focused solely on you. The energy emanating from each other during your mutual surrender. Your sexual egos stroked by knowing your bodies bring one another sexual satisfaction. You feeling the flex of his muscles while he gets that satisfaction by thrusting into you, and/or you riding him. The knowing that he wants to be inside your body while of all this is happening….

THAT is what makes you reach a mental orgasm.

So with the only changes to the previously mentioned steps being the last 2 by feeling the equal bliss from being the one doing the entering of the body, it is also totally fine if a top does not ejaculate in order to declare himself as being sexually satisfied. Proving how times of physical intimacy for a male does not always have to result in a volcanic explosion of jizz.

None of this refutes the existence of the anal orgasm. It is very much real. The simple fact is that one doesn’t have to strive for it to impress their lover, or themselves. Letting your brain guide your body to get there will happen in due time.

Now, if I can say and accept all of this, while maintaining how I am still a self-proclaimed cum-pig, then it’s time for all males who have anal sex to do so void of any controlled substances, and without following porn’s rules of anal play, and how it should conclude. Instead, follow your own body’s rules. It will make you a better lover, and achieve an even more satisfying orgasm.


Catch LeNair Xavier hosting Bingo-A-GoGo at the Cock on Wednesday, January 10th!

LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He has a blog called L’s X-Ray Vision, and can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.

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