X-Rayed Sex: “NYC Exhibitionism Fading, Mr. Handsome NYC Resurrecting”

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By LeNair Xavier

A monthly column by Thotyssey’s favorite ex-pornstar and current sexpert.


I have made it no secret that on June 21st, I won the title of Mr. Handsome NYC during the contest which was held at the club, Paddles during the sex party, Handsome NYC.

What many don’t know is that I pretty much won by default, for no pre-registered contestants besides myself showed up. So along with myself, the two other contestants were patrons who were attending the party that night.

This has happened before: back in 2005, with Will Clark’s Porn Idol contest. It was a 6-week contest in which the first 5 weeks, a contestant won each week with the intent of coming back on the sixth week to compete against all of the winners from the other weeks, so they can be crowned Porn Idol. I lost the first week I competed, but I licked the
wounds of my bruised ego, then came back the next week, and won. However, come Week 6, I was the only contestant from the previous 5 weeks to show up. So I won the title competing against a couple of bar patrons who felt they were up for the challenge.

Will Clark did the contest at least two more times since then with more than just one contestant returning for the final week. I think it had to do with how bad it looked for the exhibitionism of NYC’s gay males when word got out about how all those other winners from my round being no-shows. If that was the case, then NYC gays need such a wake-up call again.

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 Proof of this needed wake-up call against pretentiousness can be seen weekly at The Cock’s underwear party, Playpen Mondays. Where the deal is that if you strip down to your underwear, you can get a free shot with every drink you buy. With such a deal as this, explain to me why I am one of the few (if not only) young-looking guys stripping down to my undies at a party created with young patrons in mind. Instead, still only a few patrons, but it’s more older guys who are stripping down.

So many millennials staying clothed at such an event exemplify what someone from a nude group I’m a part of said. He said that they show up there just to say that they’ve been there, so their friends will think they have such exhibitionist spirits. However, they won’t partake of any action to make that exhibitionism a reality. So kudos to the person who said this. For remember, we were at a nude gathering when he said this, and he’s a millennial himself.

Now, he put it nicely. I, on the other hand simply call them posers.

That’s just one thing the turnout for Mr. Handsome NYC says about what NYC’s gay community has become. But that doesn’t change even with the surprise two contestants, I still felt a strong chance of losing.

Before I explain why, to those of you sweet enough to say that I deserved to win regardless, THANK YOU. Now to answer those of you wondering why I still felt a strong chance of losing, take note of every detail of who and what I am, and the plethora of negative –isms induced by our community’s media…

I am a 46 year-old, 5’6″, 150 lbs. medium to dark-complexioned Black male with a size-proportionate cock. All traits that according to the white/light favoring black fetishizing racist history of gay media deeming what is sexy, I am not supposed to be looked upon as sexy. I am not supposed to have the confidence to think of myself as such. Sure, I can apply to represent like I did all of those gay porn studios. I can enter a contest to exemplify sexy like Mr. Nude York. But because of my aforementioned natural traits, the best I that many would think I should shoot for is runner-up. Unfortunately, the sexual racism in our community is so bad that even runner-up can be a long shot.

So it’s not that I don’t believe I deserved to win. It’s simply the fact that I’m aware of the reality of sexual racism in the LGBT community, and don’t accommodate it like some people of color do. Especially in America, and even more specifically, New York City.

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So however this win came about, I’m glad. For the title “Mr. Handsome NYC” is one that can absolutely stroke a male’s ego, but can do some real good when it comes to the duties of being Mr. Handsome NYC.

One responsibility that was told to me when I first inquired about entering the contest was that of putting together and hosting a fundraiser as Mr. Handsome NYC. For the stereotypical shallowness of gay males, THAT is the deterrent. Hence the likely reason for the no-shows.

For the stereotypical gay male wants such a title of vanity as “Mr. Handsome NYC”. But not if it means any commitment of depth is in the fine print. Such as putting together a fundraiser for a non-profit organization.

Well, I wanted it. More than I wanted Mr. Nude York, which comes with nice prizes of money and a stay on Fire Island, but once it’s done, it’s done. With Mr. Handsome NYC, one can make difference. A difference that can last. So with this win, I can accomplish two desires of mine in one shot:

  1.  Do good for a non-profit, and;
  2. Put together a sex party.

One goal of depth, the other partially so. The latter is because I promise that the video to be played at my fundraiser will not feature black males fetishized. So don’t look for any of Chi Chi LaRue’s Blackballed movies. I’m planning on playing videos to inspire sexuality where every color and ethnicity is on the same respect and power level.

In any case, this stalemate in NYC gay male exhibitionism needs to stop. I’m not saying we all need to strip down and screw anytime and anywhere. But based on my aforementioned experiences, too many gays over the past decade are putting on a façade about nudity and sexuality that shows them becoming followers of the hypocrisy of the heterosexual mainstream. Thereby making the days of gays as trailblazers for hedonism is fading, and I want my exhibitionism to be one of those saving it from the dead.

So who’s with me?!!!

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LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He will be reading selections of his poetry at the 8th Annual Rainbow Book Fair at John Jay College on April 9th, and he will be bartending for the Leslie-Lohman Art Fair on May 15th. He has a blog called L’s X-Ray Vision, and can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.

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