As her home venue reaches an important milestone, hostess and producer / multi-genre performer Emily McNamara reflects on nightlife, the gays, motherhood, sobriety and the karaoke songs that need to GO. [Cover photo: Justin Patterson]
Thotyssey: Emily, hello! How was your Halloweekend?
Emily McNamara: Hi! It was exhausting and so much fun!
Glad to hear it. You are a gig worker and nightlifer, but unlike most of us in the biz you are also a parent! That’s a whole bunch of moving parts. What’s the trick to balancing it all?
There is no way to balance it all, lol. Caffeine. I’m always tired and behind on everything. I feel guilty when I’m not working, and I feel guilty when I am working. Hahaha! But the love for the kiddo is a motivator, for sure.
Sounds like you’re fighting the good fight! You’re a singer, an event host and producer, a comic and an actress… what are you the most?
These days, I’m singing most. I’m in a few different bands, and that’s my main hustle. The one I work with the most is called The Broadway Project. The members are Broadway performers and top tier musicians. It’s been a great learning experience for me. I also teach voice and performing arts to kids. It’s so funny, ’cause Tuesday nights I’m at Rise being very inappropriate, and not at all family friendly. Then on Wednesdays I’m giving tweens voice lessons. As I’m running through voice exercises with the students, I’m thinking, “oh Lawd, if they only knew the debauchery of last night.”
Was there ever a situation where a voice student from a long time ago showed up for your karaoke at Rise?
Yes, actually! I was teaching a musical theater class in Queens years ago, and there was one particular kid who stood out as being extra. I knew instantly he was not only talented but one of us (how YOU doin’?). Anyway, years later this gorgeous guy comes up to me at karaoke and is like, “do you remember me? I was your student at that musical theater school.” We were both gagged. It was amazing, actually. But other than that, thankfully no. Those worlds don’t collide much.
Where are you from originally, and what sort of exposure did you have to music and performance growing up?
I grew up in Larchmont, NY which is a suburb about 35 minutes outside of Manhattan. I always knew I was into performing and creative arts. Luckily my parents were supportive and brought me into the city all the time to see shows. I remember being little and seeing A Chorus Line, Phantom, Song and Dance, and Cats. Once I was old enough, I’d ride the train in to take dance classes and see shows with friends (usually the ones I’d made at the theater camp Stagedoor Manor where I spent many summers being a full fledged theater nerd).
My Dad was also a big music fan and took me to some epic concerts. I remember one year going to this line up of TLC, Mary J Blige, and Bobby Brown. And in the middle of Bobby Brown’s set, Whitney came out and she was super pregnant. The crowd went crazy. I was like, “oh wow, my Dad is the shit for bringing me to to this!”
I also used to call in to the radio all the time to try and win stuff. One time I won tickets to see George Michael at Madison Square Garden. My Dad took me to that one, too. And somehow I managed to convince my parents to let me and my camp boyfriend go see Mariah Carey at MSG. The show was being filmed for TV that night, so we all signed waivers and there were cameras everywhere. We actually ended up making it onto TV. At one point in her song “Make It Happen” she goes “I see you up there!” And then the camera turns to me and my boyfriend Scott who is grabbing and hugging me. You can see my blonde hair. It was everything. To this day, the deep Mariah fans know me from that moment in that concert.
This is actually me filming it at from one of the TVs at Rise. We are very proud to be a Mariah forward establishment, lol:
A star is born! How do you evolve into becoming a performer yourself?
I’ve always performed. Of course, I trained in classes and in college. I was really acting, singing, and dancing that whole time until I found myself at the old XL in Chelsea. I entered their talent contest on a whim (“XL Star”) and ended up winning. After that I started getting opportunities to perform in nightlife, and the community truly embraced me. It was amazing. At one point I was hosting, producing, and performing, like, five or six nights a week. That was it’s own kind of training, really.
All these stories are hella aging me. Damn, I swear I’m only 28.
Same! What’s it like being a woman making things happen in gay nightlife? For one thing, there are probably still some old school venue owners that don’t want to work with women, sadly.
I’ve never felt pushback from the bar owners, but once in a while I’ll get a comment from a patron. I get it. These are sacred spaces. No one wants a gaggle of annoying bachelorette party girls at a queer bar acting entitled. They see a cis, white woman on stage and think, WTF is she doing here. I started so long ago though, that at this point I feel like I’m sort of grandfathered in, lol. I don’t know how it would be to be starting fresh today. Drag Race has changed the landscape so much. There are so many talented, brilliant drag queens now. I am fully aware that any bar owner could replace my ass with a queen in a second. I feel grateful that there is still room for me.
And there aren’t that many of us [women] out here doing it. I actually worked my regular Tuesday at Rise all through my pregnancy, right up until the end. I worked on a Tuesday, and then that Thursday went into labor. I texted [Rise co-owner] Ted Arenas from the hospital: “you might wanna put Paige Turner on standby, ’cause ima ’bout to push this baby out.” And of course, my kid came three weeks early… and it was Pride Weekend. So now, her birthday literally lines up with NYC Pride every year… and I’m like, this bitch, lol! And to make things even gayer, Ted let me use Rise for my baby shower.
What are some songs in your repertoire that you love to do, in any capacity?
“Bad Girls” (Donna Summer), “Emotions” (Mariah Carey), “Fergalicious” (Fergie),
Waterfalls (TLC), and of course the old favorite “Smell Yo Dick” by Riskay.
The true American songbook! You worked at XES in Chelsea too, right?
OMG, I hosted karaoke at XES for a hot minute.
I miss that bar. Bob the Drag Queen had a fun show with Frostie Flakes! Actually, you’ve probably worked with a lot of drag queens that have gone on to Drag Race stardom.
Tina Burner was working there at the time, too. Yes, I mean of course, Bianca was the first one where I was like holy shit! Our girl won! And our beloved Peppermint.
Those were great times and great ladies!
Did you join the Rise Bar family right in the beginning?
Yes! I’ve been there since Day One. I met Ted when I was in “XL Star” at the original XL, and he was a bartender there. Then he hired me when he owned BarTini. Then we worked together again briefly at the new XL on 42nd street. Then when Rise opened, I was like, “duh, I’m doing shows here.”
What do you think it is that has made Rise so special and popular in Hell’s Kitchen all these years?
I think Rise is a no gimmick, reliable place to gather. There is something grown and classy about it — you can meet a friend and sip a cocktail while actually having a conversation. But it also has its pop off, messy moments for when you really want to party. So, we are a girl who does both. The good energy comes from the top. The owners, the managers, the staff, DJs, performers — it’s all family, and everyone is the real deal.
“Cut Throat Karaoke” is your baby there, every Tuesday night! What’s the secret to being good at hosting karaoke?
Well, the first secret is having a DJ TK. He’s the best of the best; I love working with him so much. He’s really my co-host in addition to being the DJ and the Daddy. I wouldn’t want to do it without him.
We try to not make the show about us. We each do a number to kick things off, and then it’s about the crowd. The people who come through are so colorful, that the show really runs itself. And… we encourage bops. A night of back-to-back ballads is boner killer galore.
Amen! You used to host a singing competition there as well, which was a big deal: “Rising Star!” I think quite a few people in nightlife today came through that. Might that ever return?
Maybe! We’ve talked about possibly doing an “All Stars” season.
Yay! Rise Bar’s tenth anniversary is this week, November 13th, and nearly all the bar’s show queens will be there — including yourself. What can we expect from the night?
The celebration on Thursday will be festive and good vibes. Performances, drinks, gossip, flirting… a usual Thursday at Rise, but turned up even higher.
Is there anything else you want to add?
I’m very grateful to everyone who still goes out to support queer nightlife in NYC! We rely on our phones for too much these days. I know, I sound like a boomer! But nothing can replace going out to the shows and meeting friends in person. It’s healthy for us!
And speaking of healthy, lol… if anyone in nightlife or otherwise wants to talk about sobriety, my DMs are always open. I am coming up on nine years without a drink or drugs, and am still miraculously having fun in the bars. It’s possible! And there are a lot of us here, too!
Congratulations, that’s quite an accomplishment! Finally: be honest, is there a karaoke song that you would secretly love to erase from all existing records? More than one karaoke host has told me “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes needs to go, lol!
“What’s Up” is definitely a little played out. At this point in my life, every time I hear “Don’t Stop Believing” my soul leaves my body. “Mr. Brightside” also makes me kind of miserable, too. “Sweet Caroline” can F off. And don’t try Whitney (esp. “IWALY“) unless you can really sing. Or if you’re hilariously drunk. But anything in between hurts.
We are also anti-long-ass-songs. Like, if you’re gonna do a six minute song, make it “Bohemian Rhapsody” (and make it great), or pick something short and cute and move it on down the road, lol!
All duly noted! Thanks, Emily!
Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Emily McNamara’s upcoming appearances, and follow her on Facebook, Instagram and LinkTree.
Thotyssey 