We need a little Christmas, right this very minute… cue Dina Martina! The festive eccentric brings a lack of reason to the season when she returns to town later this month with a (truly) unforgettable holiday experience for all.
Thotyssey: Hello Dina, thanks so much for talking to us today! How was your Halloween? Did you have any trick or treaters come by?
Dina Martina: Thanks so much for asking me to be interviewed! Most people ask me other stuff, like if I’ll get out of the way or if I’ll stop bothering them, so this was a neat surprise. My Halloween was wonderful; I was in Palm Springs, and all the trick or treaters down there are quite a bit older. So in lieu of Halloween candy, people give out living wills and catheters.
You’re perhaps best known as a popular Provincetown attraction, but you are a well-traveled entertainer! Do you have a favorite city to perform in?
I really do!
How did you enjoy your Fire Island Ice Palace performing experience back in May?
Oh, it was so neat. Fire Island is so charming, and it’s so amazing to me that it’s somehow retained its old-world flavor. It’s kinda like Cuba that way. Everyone drives 1950s Chevys and wears zoot suits and smokes cigars. I mean, at least the women do.
You have such a unique look and manner of speaking! Who were some people (or otherwise) that have influenced your style?
Well, I was in a phonics class, so there is that. But also I’ve always tried to emulate that sort of “mid-Pacific” dialect, at least when I’m in the U.S.. But of course if I’m in Europes, I talk like they talk. ‘Cause you know, in Spain they do that “f” thing where they say “Barfelona,” you know? Do you fpeak Fpanish? And as far as my fashion style goes, I’ve always followed the advice of Coco Chanel, who said “right before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take your clothes off.” What was it, the other day someone described my style as “village idiot chic.”
You often discuss your close friend Doreen in your stage shows. I was very excited to finally see her in a video you two made at a restaurant last year–she’s lovely! What is Doreen’s best trait that makes her such a good friend?
Oh, she’s stuffed to the rafters with desirable qualities. I mean everyone knows she’s the heiress to the Kotex fortune, but there’s so much more. She’s got combination skin, a lot of people don’t know that. Um…I could go on. And she’s super resourceful, I mean if you cut off her arms, she’ll slit her ankles lol!
When you’re not performing, what are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
Well I used to love hanging out at Radio Shack, but they’re real hard to find anymore. So lately I’ve been into checkin’ out airport cellphone lots – you never know who you’ll meet. But some of my other fave hobbies are, in no particular order: carpooling, watching yoga, “Weather on the 8’s,” and looking at pictures.
Christmas is right around the corner, and everyone knows that Dina is the Holiday Hostess with the Mostess! How soon do the tree and holiday decorations go up in the Martina home?
Well, let’s see…they went up in May of 1973, in preparation for the Bicentennial, and they haven’t come down since… so you do the math.
What’s the best Christmas present you ever received?
Oh that’s easy. “Miracle on the Hudson,” Christmas 2019. My friend Doreen painted a beautiful portrait of Jennifer Hudson covered in Miracle Whip.
Do you have a favorite holiday recipe?
Yes, it’s an old family treat that my grandmother would make every Christmas Eve. It’s very simple: just raisins, butter, and Crisco, in a bowl.
How about a favorite Christmas carol?
Ooh, that’s a tough one… but it’s either Lawrence or Burnett.
You will be bringing “The Dina Martina Christmas Show” to New York’s Sony Hall on November 29th and 30th! What can you tell us about what this show is going to be like?
It’s going to be like last year’s show, only different material. And way better!
By the way… where’s the best place to go, or the best thing to do, in New York?
My first stop in New York is always the cheap banana stand right by the Port Authority. Great people watching and loads of fiber.
What else is coming up for you, or is there anything else your fans need to know?
Yes, at Easter time I’m going to be touring in a one-woman, gender-swap Passion Play that I think could be neat.
Finally: as a woman who has it all, what is the key to successfully balancing a career and a household?
Don’t ever sleep.
Happy Holidays, Dina!
Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Dina Martina’s upcoming area appearances, and follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and her website.
Thotyssey 