Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.
A recent backroom tryst at a bar made me have to pose the title question.
I saw this guy at the bar. With this dark hair, pornstache, and tank top, I thought he was really hot. Like myself, he was taking advantage of the underwear optional policy of the space.
At one point, we both were in the backroom. I was sitting on a bench against the wall, and he was standing up being modestly played with by some other guy. During that play time, he looked down to his right and saw me. He bent over and started sucking my cock. The other guy, like I said wasn’t in any deep committed play, so he just stopped and instead watched me get sucked off.
Once I got fully erect, the guy sucking me off straddled me with his back to me and put my cock inside him. It was a nice combination between him riding me with his wet hole and me holding him still So I could lean back and thrust into him. I then decided that I was not going to let this end without catering to the ass-man that I am. So I had him get up and bend over do I could take him from behind. We switched positions with me still inside him. And I pounded away with the lovely view of his ass jiggling with each inward thrust.
He felt so good that I knew I had to stop. Otherwise, I would have shot my load. The problem with that is that this much happened within 30 minutes of my arrival.
Some time passed and we reconnected. In the most physical sense. He immediately bent over for me. I tried to put my cock inside him but couldn’t find his asshole. So I felt my way for it, but once found, I realized that it was super tight…and dry. As if I had never been inside him. Then he reached back to guide my cock. He guided my cock lower down. So it turns out his asshole was so dry because I never was in it. I was actually in his pussy. He was trans.
This explains why when he straddled me earlier that his hole was so pleasingly soft and moist. But in way this is uncommon to the best well-lubed asses I’ve ever topped. So this was me having a typical male moment. I lusted for someone; they offered a hole of theirs for me to put my cock in; and without question of which hole, I accepted.
I was not at all bothered by this. Because it is not my first time fucking a trans male’s pussy. So that prejudice is beyond me. Plus, I did expect the possibility by the shape around his hips once he bent over the first time. So I blissfully continued to thrust away. Then once again I stopped. This time when he stood up, he didn’t want to stop playing with me. He asked if he could eat my ass. I told him he could. So I got on my knees on the bench and let him eat away. It was one of the best rim jobs I’ve ever had.
Afterwards, he told me that he wished he had his dildo and harness so he could fuck me. My immediate response was, “I wish you did, too”.
This made me realize how in my entire 8 years of working at the sex shop I work at, I can’t recall ever seeing a gay couple consisting of a cis male and trans male looking to buy a dildo and/or a harness with the expressed intent of the trans male penetrating the cis male. This is not to say that such couples don’t exist. It is just an observation that as many varieties of couples I have seen walk into the store over the years, why is that combination one so rarely seen?
I believe that it has to do with how in a relationship, gay cis males want a flesh and blood penis. I won’t argue against that because that was how I felt before that encounter. I myself never thought a relationship with a trans male was possible because of my preference for bottoming in my versatility. Hence how I wrote an erotic poem titled “Sexual Electricity” and drew an accompanying picture showing a penis inside an ass with strings of electricity running along the shaft. So I do understand the hesitance 100%.
With that concern, one may initially consider an open relationship. However, I have always seen an open relationship working because you have undying love and lust for one, but lust for many that you are permitted by your partner to satisfy the itch of. I’m concerned when an open relationship is based on what a former co-worker said of her open relationship— getting from someone else what your primary partner can’t give you. I’m concerned about the duration when one is stepping outside of the relationship is because that something “your primary partner can’t give you” is a real penis.
So the best way I would think that such a relationship can work is for cis males to work on their thinking. Start thinking of that dildo as an extension of that trans male partner. After all, you still have their body to hold close while being penetrated. So like a blind person’s other senses are heighten by their lack of sight, let the sense of touch through your hands, skin, and lips on your trans male partner’s body become heightened. Making up for the bodily electricity a dildo can’t give you.
Of course, this would be a process and take time to get to. For I have long said that even in a backroom tryst, sex is both a physical and spiritual connection. In the encounter that enlightened me to this, it was a spiritual connection that made me crave going along with his desire to peg me. However, while my spiritual connection was for that moment, that tells me that there are those for whom my idea will definitely work. For their spiritual connection is for a lifetime. Hopefully that number will grow in time.
LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.