Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.
WHAT IS THE BEST LUBE?
It is a question asked often, and regardless of one’s gender and sexual orientation, the answer varies. And due to the fact that it has so many varying answers, it is a question I hate. For we live in an age where few people express a complete thought. In the case of answering which lube is the best, few people ask that question telling what kind of sex if the lube for. So I’ve compiled a list of lubes to recommend depending on the type of sex.
ANAL SEX & MASTURBATION
Everyone knows the usual silicone-based lubes: Pjur, Gun Oil, and Swiss Navy. But I wanted to give some credit to a lesser-known one since I often root for the underdog. In this case, I recommend Pure For Men silicone-based lube.
I discovered Pure For Men while masturbating during the sex parties that went virtual because of the lockdown.
Silicone is a popular because it does not absorb into the body the way many water-based lubes do. Therefore, needling a lot fewer (to no) re-applications. However, some people do prefer a water-based lube to avoid the staining of sheets and furniture. That is where…
- HYBRID lubes often come into the picture.
My favorite at the moment is Fuck Water. Upon sight, it looks like a bottle of jizz is on sale at a sex shop. And for some, that can make it a good lube for the role-play of being a cumdump without the actual cum. As far as use for actual play is concerned though, it is not as lasting as a silicone-based lube. However, it does last longer than many water-based lubes, and that greater longevity does not come at the cost of staining your sheets and furniture.
If you’ve seen any of my homemade videos over the past couple of years, it should be no surprise that my favorite water-based lube for anal play & anal masturbation is Sutil Rich Glide in a grey bottle.
The difference between it and regular Sutil is that Sutil Rich Glide is a great del thicker, which makes it not be absorbed into the body as easily. In fact, there have been times when I put it in one night for play with someone, then woke up the next morning to please the guy’s morning wood with no need to apply any more lube. Therefore, Sutil Rich Glide earns the right to be priced about as much as a good silicone lube if it works that well.
The only downside to Sutil Rich Glide is that it contains Horny Goat Weed, which some might have an allergic reaction to. Outside of that, this is a water-based lube that is perfect for anal and penile masturbation, as well as anal sex.
It seems the use of CBD-infused lubes is gaining momentum. And I have no issue with that. Hence why for this list I recommend Bella or Knob Polish. They are actually one and the same. The names and packaging is just another case of gender-directed marketing. If you don’t believe me, just look at both tubes and compare the ingredients. You will find they are one and the same.
I have not used either for actual sex. However, it does last a great amount of time in my stroker. For that reason, it has become my primary lube for my stroker toys.
With that said, if you are a male webcam model, there is a minor reason you might want to rethink using this lube. For it is not clear from the start. It is cloudy like the cloudy part of semen, which might give the impression that you are starting to pre-cum or ejaculate even when you are not. Even more so if you use so much that it can’t stay in your toys when you put your cock in.
CBD is good for relaxation though. So it can help in play with some anal toys. In fact, during some of my recent anal play for virtual parties and videos, I have put in the CBD-infused lube in me first, let it settle into my body, then on camera put in another water-based lube like the aforementioned Sutil Rich Glide.
Proof of this relaxation properties is shown by how there is actual anal serum made solely of hemp oil having a higher amount of CBD. With my stance against poppers for their harmful chemical properties, I gladly welcome the thought of those participating in anal play using a CBD-infused lube or serum for all-natural, chemical-free anal play.
- WITH TOYS, I recommend Kiiroo Spark. This water-based lube was introduced to me as Kiiroo included a bottle of it when they sent me a Keon for review. What found great about it is that it is not sticky like some other warming lubes. With that lack of stickiness in mind, it can also be good…
- FOR MASTURBATION, for which I recommend Sliquid Spark. Yes, “Spark” seems to be quite the popular name for sensation play lubes. Anyway, Sliquid Spark is silicone-based and has menthol which causes a nice tingle to get the sensation going. I’ve had it for awhile, but (like with Pure For Men) didn’t discover it until I started logging on to virtual sex parties, and the masturbation during that time taught me that my usual lack of needing lube to jerk-off disappeared when I had an audience. So there it was sitting in my room untouched. Until one virtual party I reached for it and had one of the best jerk-off session for an audience ever. I liked it so much that not only did I make a jerk-off video for my OnlyFans, but I also now sometimes use it, not out of necessity, but just to switch up the session.
EXTREME ANAL PLAY
For extreme anal play, I recommend Pjur BackDoor in both silicone and water-based.
The silicone-based one is my favorite because it contains jojoba oil which helps to relax the sphincter muscles. I wish I had some when I decided to take on my stainless steel Njoy Eleven with its 2” diameter and 6.5” circumference on the wider end.
The water-based version’s usefulness was displayed in my XTube video “Contact Cleaners?!…We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Cleaners” (FYI, the word “cleaners” was to replace “poppers” when XTube made “poppers” a restricted word). I took on 3 dildos growing in length and girth with each and never took a single huff of poppers.
Now, you have a list of my go-to lube arsenal. For various reasons some or all of these might not work for you. In any case though, I hope I gave you a good place to start.
Happy Sliding & Gliding! 🙂💦
LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.