Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.
Have you noticed this latest porn scenario of a guy getting head while gaming?
I have. And it might be one of those cases where porn is not the bad educator I’ve often accused it of. In this case, it might just be an indicator.
For while I’m not really a gamer, I will admit to being the giver of head to a gamer once. However, while I love giving head, I never wanted to do it again. At first, I had no idea as to why. It is with hindsight being 20/20 that my subconscious mind knew the truth immediately, but it had to finally make its way to my conscious mind.
I realized that IT IS ACTUALLY QUITE FUCKING RUDE!
Regardless of your position in sex, your sex partner deserves your undivided attention.
In a scene from the 1999 movie Trick, the character of aspiring musical composer Gabriel (played by Christian Campbell) tells his trick Marc (played by J.P. Pitoc) of how he’s always fantasized about a guy doing down on him while he played the piano. That never leaving my mind and being a part of gay nightlife soon after my coming out 3 years later fueled a sexual fantasy I have never fully disclosed. One in which I go down on a DJ while he’s doing his job.
The one bit of that fantasy that caused me enough apprehension to not put more effort into making it come to fruition is that the fragility of the male ego might surface in me. Namely if my oral prowess doesn’t cause the DJ receiving head to screw up. OR if he doesn’t screw up, then he would need to take a break to fuck me senseless. Because as far as I’m concerned, if he can proceed error-free, then how much attention is he really paying to my oral skills?!
That is how I feel about giving head while gaming. Why am I here working my mouth and tongue on his cock if he doesn’t stop the game soon after I start to use the hard-on I made to fuck my brains out? And not only does he not stop playing the game, but he plays it so void of errors that he wins.
If you go down on a guy, the only thing his hands should be on is a person. Either himself, you, or another person if you’re having group sex. But not an inanimate object, like a game controller. With that said, this idea of giving head to a gamer seems like yet another idea means to stroke the ego of the male getting his cock pleasured, while all the pleaser gets for their labor is a pat on the head.
For this reason, the giver of the blowjob can easily be someone deemed as “less attractive”. Be it because of age, body type, color, and/or ethnicity. Such as in my aforementioned experience, I was a Black man in a room full of mostly white males. There was also white/light males present as well giving head to the mostly white gamers. Some were slim, and some were heavier. But of all those traits mentioned, which sucker was able to tear their gamer away for an actual fuck?
The young, slim white/light guy.
Now, ageism, racism, and body shaming are not the only reasons for such dismissals. It is also plain and simply the guy getting sucked has such an obsession with gaming that it has become easy for him to dismiss a person’s good intentions to pleasure him with actual human-to-human physical contact. In short, he’s another casualty of this generation that claims to crave intimacy but rejects it when its purest form is right in front of them.
My point is that the gay male community has enough sexual scenarios of a guy getting his cock serviced coming at the emotional, mental, and physical expense of the person that cock should be going into. We don’t need another scenario unjustly making possible sex partners question their attractiveness and sexual skillset, thereby damaging their self-esteem.
So sorry, not sorry. But that is not the sex I have or will I ever advocate for.
I demand for myself and advocate for others that both parties get their egos stroked, or it’s no deal. Therefore, when sucking off a gamer, that gamer better man-up. Quickly stop being a gamer, so he can show his gratitude by changing hats to become a much appreciative butt-fucker.
LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.