X-Rayed Sex: “Virtual Sex Parties… What? Where? For How Long?”

By LeNair Xavier

WARNING: NSFW! Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.


Some cities are in the process of re-opening. That means naked parties, sex parties, and underwear parties might be on the verge of a return of some sort. However, in the meantime a good virtual party with guys jerking off might be a good means to get off in a way that feels less isolated.

With that said, it has come to my attention that many don’t know that during the COVID-19 pandemic that some sex parties have gone this virtual route. Some for free like WickedGayParties. Some for free but suggest a donation like CumUnion. Some for pay, and some like NYC Inferno were alternating days between virtual parties that were free, while others required payment in the form of a donation to a designated charity. I know there are more, but the ones listed are ones that I have actually joined at one point, or often.

As these (and other) events may soon resurface in the real world again, some might not be in a rush to attend since we are still in the midst of this pandemic. Meanwhile, others can hardly wait for those venue doors to re-open.

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I am not going to lie to you. While I am a sex educator, I am still a human being with a desire to be skin to skin with ones I sexually desire. I miss my untainted awareness feeling the texture of skin on a hot guy’s ass and cock, the taste of cock, the smell of musk, and taste of his sweat made from our passion and hot fucking. I miss all of that. So I am quite torn on what to do. I do believe that the reason I have survived this well and this long without hooking up is because even though sexuality is what I am known for, sexual conquests and the quantity of them do not define me the way it does many gay males. Such as those gays that have had parties even before the pandemic was contained enough in our area for phases of re-opening to begin.

If you have never attended a meeting on an app like Zoom, then you have no idea of what to expect with these virtual parties. Basically, it starts off with your page full of frames of the participants. Depending on the number of participants, there can be a number of pages of faces to go through. Some parties require you to have the video of your webcam on. Those are what I prefer. With Zoom, for those parties that don’t have such a wise rule, you can eliminate seeing frames from those who are not participating with video. I recently did that at a CumUnion virtual party. About 11 pages of about 16 – 20 faces each were there when I first joined the party. Those 11 pages immediately dropped down to 5 once I eliminated the non-video participants. Because for me, a sex party virtual or otherwise is an exchange in sexuality. So as long as I am blessed with the gift of sight, I need to see you.

When you see someone you like, you can pin them, which makes you go from having all those frames of faces on your screen to having just that one person you want to focus on. Once a couple hit me up with the chat feature just as I by chance pinned them. Clearly seeing who was typing, the top typed a compliment to my uncut dick, and how he would love to see me fuck his boyfriend’s ass with it. This while he and the boyfriend played with the boyfriend’s hole. A hole that the center-point of quite a nice juicy ass on his slim body.

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I mentioned the chat feature earlier. With it, you can chat with the room entirely or a person individually. Sometimes you get a reply back. Sometimes they completely ignore you for whatever reason, be that reason good or bad. Whatever the case you accept the results and move on. Such as how I had a good reason recently when a guy tried to hit me up with the initials “BBC” as part of his screenname. I didn’t lay into him for his ignorance by reiterating my past article on that terminology. I just instead ignored his numerous attempts at conversation. Holding out for someone who presented themselves with more depth and intellect.

If you hold out long enough, and are as choosy as I am, you will eventually find someone of interest. Such as how that night, I did find someone who I did want to focus on. And they on me. In fact, I tweeted about the exchange. Shooting my load by imagining I was flip-fucking him, then called it a night.

At first, I attended these virtual parties out of sheer curiosity. Now, they have become a welcome part of pleasing my sex drive during quarantine.

So how long will these virtual parties be a thing? Will they immediately vanish once party spaces re-open? Or will they be phased out, as people might not be willing to jump right into the game? Only time will tell.


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LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.

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