WARNING: NSFW! Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.
For a good number of us, sex, lust, and our sex drive don’t die just because a pandemic hits, followed by being quarantined. In fact, for many a pandemic such as coronavirus can amp up one’s libido. That can be either out of boredom, and/or a natural high to distract us from what’s going on in the world. I know from my own lust getting a boost as a means to distracting me. And my craving for a cock in my ass got so bad that when I made my video “6 Toys In Quarantine,” I rode on three different sized dildos that were either long and/or thick.
Besides the anal douche to prepare, that video showed the first time anything had been in my ass since the last time I had sex before quarantine, which was about 2 to 3 weeks earlier. Hence how there is a point in the video in which while riding the second dildo, I unconsciously blurted out, “Oh, I needed something in my ass so bad!”
My point of that story is the fact that when this quarantine is over, bars and other businesses will be allowed back open at some point, and that includes sex party spaces. And when those sex party spaces open after all that time of us being in quarantine, they will be madhouses full of lusty people. In fact, you should expect them to fill up so much that they might create a line to get in during the first and second week of re-opening.
I have often said that sex is a physical and spiritual connection, even when that sex is a backroom tryst. And I am often discouraged by how many in our community refuse to feel the same as they contribute to the many mentally and emotionally unhealthy actions many display after a sexual encounter. I must warn you that once this quarantine is over, many more than usual will probably not acknowledge sex as also being a spiritual connection. And since I have never claimed to be perfect, I must confess that even I myself might be one of those people for a brief moment after quarantine. Do note that this statement is not me exonerating myself if I commit such actions. This is just to show that I can fall a victim to lust just like anybody else.
What might more so cause my possible slip away from my sexual credo is how there’s a good chance that I won’t return to such sex-positive spaces immediately after they are re-opened. For I plan to not return to those sex-positive spaces until after the first and second week.
The reason I am recommending holding off for about two weeks is because as I stated earlier, it is going to be a madhouse. Part of it being a madhouse is that it will be filled with not just horny guys, but straight up desperate and socially inept ones. For many of those desperate ones use a sex-positive space as their only means of sexual communication. Many of which never bring the essential of eye contact into the picture before trying to touch someone.
This brings up my concern for people who did not venture to sex-positive spaces before COVID-19 because in spite of my tales of fun in sex-positive spaces, they are also aware of those tales (from myself and others) about socially inept patrons. I believe many will try venturing out after the quarantine out of sexual frustration. However, if accusations of stalking and/or unwanted touch brought to the attention of a venue staffer are not even addressed, therefore not properly handled, then the newbies will be forced back into avoiding these spaces. Resulting in a trauma-based further digging in of their heels about not being a patron at such spaces.
With that said, one hope I do have that during this quarantine, party promoters, and more so venue owners will re-assess how they handle, or more precisely, don’t handle complaints about non-consented touch. And accosted patrons (old and new) will speak up for themselves more. For as far as the party promoters and venue owners go, arrogance and refusal to deal with violating patrons will result in less patronage from the worthwhile. Especially since some venues have patrons who were once regulars, but are no longer giving their patronage due to that mishandling of overzealous patrons. I am not on that list… YET. But some spaces have made me consider it.
In spite of how obnoxious these invaders of personal space can be, I have no intention of letting them stop me from returning to sex-positive spaces once this quarantine is lifted. The proud horndog that I am will be return. Coming out to play and cum, and inspire sexual liberation in the flesh with my horny flesh once again. Continuing to stand my ground when I receive unwanted touch, because as my credo says, it’s “My body, my call”. And hoping to inspire others to stand their ground as well.
So this is written with the optimism that we will be allowed to be proud and horny sluts, but picky sluts once again sometime soon.
LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.