Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.
NOTE: While this article is written to cater to a gay male audience, implementing the proper genitalia and pronoun should make it easy to be understood by someone of another gender and sexual orientation.
In January 2019, I wrote an article on L’s X-Ray Vision titled “I Said I Was A Sex Blogger, And He Ran Like A L’il Biatch.’ It was about how often guys seem to flee when I say that I’m a sex blogger, and what conclusions those guys are jumping to that makes them run. Well this article is to point out what that article did not mention….
The perks they are missing out on because I’m a sex blogger.
I have said in numerous blog and social media posts that I’m versatile. However, versatility alone does not guarantee a great sex partner. A versatile guy can be a great top, but a lousy bottom. Or a great bottom, but a lousy top. Or worst case scenario, he can be lousy at both because he lacks the sexual knowledge that could make him not just a sex blogger, but a great sex blogger. Leading to the following 5 perks of hooking up with a sex blogger:
1) We don’t have to be that position to get it
A good sex blogger can be a bottom, and while being quite aware of what their body needs from you as a bottom, we are equally aware of what you generally need as a top. And vice versa when the sex blogger is a top. This understanding regardless of our position leads to…
2) We are patient with you
One of the biggest complaints I have with tops is how impatient they are with their bottoms. Hence why if bottoms who do poppers were to recall their introduction to poppers and/or numbing lube, I’m sure most would recall that it was by a top. The rest were most likely advised by a bottom – one who was introduced to poppers and/or numbing lube…by a top. The problem is such products are made to lessen the top’s responsibility to be patient with his bottom.
Trust me, I get it. When I top, there are many times that I wish my bottom could take my dick the moment I get hard. So much so that my evil impatient side wants him to take a huff of poppers. Instead, I let my good side prevail by acknowledging how he’s not ready yet. That bottom’s body needs more warming up for him to feel at ease being entered. So I play with him a little bit longer. Because I know if I lose my hard-on, unless I’ve been drinking more than usual, my desire for him will make the hard-on come back. A good sex blogger knows this. More so than your Average Joe.
And the same holds true for bottoms being patient with their tops, as some tops might be dealing with anxiety for one reason or another. Even if the top takes a male enhancement pill, those issues might make a bottom have to wait for the top’s hard-on. The typical bottom easily gives up and calls it a night, while a good sex blogger won’t call it quits unless the top himself gives up. And even then, the sex blogger will at least try some kind words of encouragement to ease the top‘s anxiousness.
3) We know sexual anatomy
For obvious reasons this comes in quite handy. A good sex blogger will probably give you the best oral sex, touch of your erogenous zones, or combo of both – whichever you prefer – that you will ever experience due to their knowledge of sexual anatomy.
Also, depending on how well that sex blogger can maneuver their body and muscles, a good sex blogger will use that ability to move specific limbs and muscles (as a top or bottom) in a way to target specific areas of their sex partner’s body during sex. And the reason for some of that targeting is that in addition to standard erogenous zones based on gender….
4) We are more attentive to reading your body
Be it by the sounds one makes, a muscle contraction, or the most obvious – a request for more of that specific move, a sex blogger will read those signs sooner than most. For a good sex blogger always advises listening to your partner. And not just the words they speak, but also by what their bodies say. I know I do. So a good sex blogger is going to practice what they preach.
5) We are less selfish
While any sex blogger’s goal during sex is pleasure for all parties involved, a good sex blogger is often satisfied by their partner’s physical orgasm first, which can lead to the sex blogger’s mental orgasm. The reason good sex bloggers are so prone to being less selfish in this manner is because we’re more attuned with our bodies from the start of the encounter. So our goal is first to see how attuned you are with yours, and play with you in a way that educates you about your sexual spots that you’re unaware of. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made a guy’s body do a twitch towards orgasming because I hit a certain sweet spot he didn’t even know he had.
So yes, to that guy Robert from the aforementioned article and all guys like him who have and will run because I say that I’m a sex blogger, this is the sexual skillset they are passing up. Now, considering what that list entails, you can see that I’m never lying to myself when I say that their loss is somebody else’s gain. So if any of them are reading this, they should be kicking themselves right about now. And the sweetest revenge is me taking those skills on to a playmate who knows I’m a sex blogger, and appreciates my skills.
Because I’m damn good at what I do. 😉😙
LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.