X-Rayed Sex: “4 Blowjob Tricks, 5 Rules of BJ Etiquette”

By LeNair Xavier

Thotyssey presents a bi-monthly column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.

4 Blowjob Tricks, 5 Rules of BJ Etiquette

Every male-bodied person loves a good blowjob. Keyword here is “good.” Because I personally am a fan of giving blowjobs, but not receiving them. My not being a fan of receiving is because for some odd reason, most guys have no skill with it whatsoever. They think they are to just open their mouth, wrap it around a dick and move back and forth.

Uh, it’s called “sucking dick” for a reason.

Well, not to brag, but since I have gotten rave reviews for my oral skills, let me tell you some tricks I’ve figured out over the years…

1) Keep it moist. Make sure your mouth is moist when giving a blowjob. So besides the obvious reasons to not do drugs, add this to the list since most drugs make your mouth dry. And an oral top does not want to feel like a cat’s sandpaper-like tongue is rubbing against his dick

2) Tongue & Suck. Use your tongue often. Roll it around in circles over the top of his cock’s head and massage his frenulum (the area under the glans). Also, use suction with your tongue massage. Like I said in the beginning, it’s called “sucking dick” for a reason. So a moist mouth, a massaging tongue, and suction are a must for a great blowjob. The next 2 tricks will make you phenomenal….

3) Hummmm. When he goes in deep, right to the back of your throat, hum. For sound causes vibration in your throat, and humming during a blowjob puts that vibration right on the head of his dick. I’ve sometimes hummed to the tune of the music playing in the space. This is great since music is such a connecting form of art. Even more so pleasing to you both if the music playing sets the mood.

4) Play with his taint. What many don’t know is that the penis actually extends inside the body. Hence why a massage of the taint (or perineum) adds to the pleasure. It’s another area to stimulate on your cock during a blowjob. This of course depends on the guy. I personally think the few guys who have moved my hand when I went there did so because it was a new sensation, and they didn’t know how to handle it.

 

Now, like the advice Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben gave him, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Both giving and receiving a blowjob are powers. Ones that come with great responsibilities. Not a life or death level of responsibility (for the most part), but responsibilities nonetheless.

With that said, here are some rules of blowjob etiquette to keep in mind:

1) Listen to your cocksucker. Dicks come in a variety of sizes, and your cocksucker  might not be able to handle every last inch of yours whether you have a monster cock, or not. If you find that to be the case, respect your oral bottom’s signals, and don’t try forcing it. Stop taking your lessons from porn that this behavior is okay. Because it’s actually far from it.

However, if the bottom risks his health (and life) by allowing you to choke him with your dick deeper than he can obviously handle, then he should very likely follow my next rule of etiquette.

2) Don’t suck dick inebriated. If your oral bottom is one of those who says they can suck dick all day if they’re doing poppers, then you already have a hot mess. Because most likely he’s already on some harder drug, and poppers is just to help him maintain a high. Such being the case actually further justifies my anti-popper stance.

I personally love sucking cock. That’s why I’m loving writing this article, and I am dying to physically reiterate all I’m saying here. With that said, I can suck dick after drinking my favorite cocktail (vodka Red Bull with a splash of cran), or drinking water. In short, as a truly proud cocksucker, I love sucking dick sober. So I can remember the length and girth of his dick growing in my mouth, every throb of his cock while I sucked him good, and the taste of his jizz, so I can remember if I should ever suck him off again.

Such pride and joy in cocksucking is why I take a guy needing any kind of inebriation (alcoholic, poppers, or any substance) while sucking, fucking, or just playing voyeur to the 2 acts to be a sign of shame. Plus, a drunk cocksucker has little to no control over their actions. For these reasons, their “desire” to suck cock should not be entertained.

With that said, discovering this inebriation during the act is the only time you’re not obligated to entertain the upcoming Etiquette Rule #5.

3) Having a dick does not make you entitled. Many males have come to believe that they are automatically entitled to a blowjob just because they have a dick. I have had many sex party/backroom encounters where I’m going down on a guy, and a guy nearby tries sticking their dick in my face thinking I owe him some of my oral prowess.

Well, as much as I love to suck dick, I am still choosy as to whose dick I suck. Plus, it’s my body, my call. And with that said…

4) Don’t pimp out the cocksucker. Your oral bottom chose you. Respect that. Honor that. Therefore, don’t try forcing him to suck the dick of some other guy near you. Limit your control issues to controlling yourself. Such as when he offered to give you head, and you said “Yes”. Or if he was giving lousy head, you gave directions. If you feel the urge to perform any control actions besides those, resist them.

5) The cocksucker gets dibs on your dick in his ass. I once went down on a guy, and once I made his dick rock-hard, he took that hard-on and put it in someone else. When I ripped him a new hole afterwards because he tried feeling on me, his unjust sense of entitlement tried dismissing my annoyance by saying, “Sorry. I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

What this asshole doesn’t realize is that my laying into him is not about being sensitive. It’s about him being an ungrateful prick thinking that just because he was an oral top that he doesn’t have to follow a protocol. A protocol that says to respect the one whose oral skills gave him that hard-on. A protocol that says unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties, a blowjob should be seen as foreplay between the cocksucker and the guy getting sucked. For the one who gave you that hard-on should be #1 on the list of who gets that hard-on in their ass. That cocksucker earned it.

Blowjobs are to be a good time. And being mindful of these tricks and rules of etiquette should not take away from that good time. The only ones to think they will are those unwilling to learn because they’re too self-serving in the sex play. So let’s instead celebrate our sexuality, each other, and our admiration for that beautiful work of art nature gave us called “the human cock” by mastering our blowjobs. Shall we?


LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He has a blog called L’s X-Ray Vision on Tumblr, and can be followed on FacebookTwitter and Instagram

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