By LeNair Xavier
Thotyssey presents a column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette.
I recently turned 55 years old. So according to gay ageism and slang, I would easily be considered a “daddy”. Well, I’m not a fan of being referred to as that. Not only because as explained in some past Thotyssey articles, I am not a fan of my age being sexualized for young gay with daddy issues. It is also because the Sex Nerd that I am is fascinated by a male being a literal daddy – a man that has fathered a child.
On my initial version of my personal blog, “L’s X-Ray Vision”, there is a category called “Getting Out The Kinks“. Every article in that category tells of a kink of mine. One kink had “I ❤️ Daddies” added to the title. Many readers were tricked by it. Because they thought it was about me having a thing for older men. Instead, it was about the science nerd I am about sex being fascinated with a guy being a REAL dad.
Let it be made clear that I never have, nor ever will chase after guys solely because he has living proof of fathering a child. Therefore, before going any further, let me also make it clear that this article is in no way intended to inspire, nor condone a fetish of chasing males who have fathered children. This needs to be said. Because although a man fathering a child and being a hands-on dad is an act that should be seen to be sexy as fuck, studio-based porn and content creators who follow their lead have given the okay to enough fetishizing acts that are emotionally, mentally, physically, and sociallydamaging. And it would irresponsible of me to not write a disclaimer of some kind to make sure I not adding another to the list.
A guy revealing to me that they are in fact a father is something guys have taken upon themselves to tell me.Such as my playmate from my old homemade video “Why It’s WE Fucked”. He has a son. I never learned the relationship situation as to how that son came to be. However, at least as far as I knew of him, he was not on the down low. If I discovered he was, we would have never gotten together period. For life on the down low is not something I would reward with, forget video notoriety, but not even with interaction.
With that said, from a Sex Nerd’s perspective, him and any male that you hook up with that can claim to have fathered a child actually has sperm in his cum. So when he says that he bred someone, it’s not just gay slang for him. A child or children have actually resulted from his cumentering a body. So he has literally bred someone in the way we all know of. And realizing how that someone is female-bodied is when all hetero- and bi-phobes reading this will turn to salt.
My writing erotic poems like “I ❤️ Cum” with its lyrics shows that I have a fascination with semen and how it usually contains sperm. But that fascination is not unique to me. It is actually quite common to many of us gay & bisexual men. While there are gay sex parties with names and themes that prove this, it is also why when a man ejaculates during unprotected gay sex many still say that “the top bred the bottom”. Even though “breeding” is commonly thought to result in pregnancy, which of courseis not possible when semen enters a male-bodied person. It all shows we know the initial use of semen is to inject sperm. And we guys who bottom applaud how when a man ejaculates, the male ingredient to giving life, sperm, is swimming along our rectal walls. That is unless the male is sterile, which by no means lessens his manhood. Forregardless as to whether or not a male is fertile, a male’s release of semen still making the terms “breeding” justified. For the top might not be breed a bottom with sperm to result in a child, but he does breed a bottom with his DNA regardless. The results may last nowhere near as long as it does when it results in a pregnancy, but the DNA in semen is still a part that lasts in the recipient’s body for some time after the penetrating male has pulled out.
So YES! Men that have fathered a child can be seen as super sexy. And although it is an honorable responsibility, it is not one you should pursue a sex partner for. Nor is it a responsibility I have taken on. So I don’t want to be called “daddy”. Because while I’m all for being called a pet name, some pet names are ones that bestow on me thoughts of a sexy duty that is not mine.
LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.
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