Let’s unlock the hidden truths within one of queer NYC’s kinkiest event hosts: Peter Cage! [Cover photo: @photoyagrapher for @naturalpursuitsmag]
Thotyssey: Hi Peter! We’re in early May now, but let’s start with a chat about an event you co-hosted late last month: “Mx. Small Penis” at Rockbar. That must’ve been a very fun and fascinating evening!
Peter Cage: OMG, the pageant was so wild. I teamed up with Pup Roger (co-host of “Perv” and “Pet Park”) and drag queen Coma White (Mx. Rockbar 2025, and co-host of “Brain Damage”) to put it together. We had five contestants compete in a variety of categories including swimwear, formalwear, a talent competition, and of course the measurement category. The contestants were all amazing and put on a great show for us—for their talents, one person ripped a chastity cage off without unlocking it (ouch!), someone played the ukulele while singing an adaptation of “Mine” by Taylor Swift to be about his small penis, and the winner made a painting on stage of a giant dick using his tiny dick as a paint brush!
We really wanted to have fun humiliating and teasing our contestants, but we also wanted to empower everyone to be proud of their bodies as they are. We made sure to get consent from everyone before teasing them, and the next day two of them told me they’d already jerked off thinking about being teased on stage. Overall, it was a ton of fun and a huge success. Stay tuned for the second one next year!
Lots of folks who will read this consider humiliation to be a completely scary and negative concept, but it is a big part of the kink world. How would you personally explain why that is, if you could?
Oh, I have so much to say about this! This could be an entire book. Power exchange is central to a lot of people’s experiences of kink, and of sex in general. Having power over your partner can be a huge thrill, and experiencing the vulnerability of powerlessness can likewise be incredibly intimate. I think this is rooted in the idea of play. Kids play with power all the time, reenacting dynamics of power exchange: cops, parents, doctors, teachers, soldiers, wizards—all of these tropes are about having power over someone. As we age, our play changes less than we imagine it does; it just shifts to include erotic content.
For adults, we experience power and powerlessness in very violent ways in the real world. But within our play, we are free to explore power dynamics in a safe and consensual way. In terms of humiliation, we may get to act out a scenario in which we are deeply embarrassed, and experience all of the teasing and ridicule that comes with that—but with a partner who ultimately affirms our value and our worth. By experiencing humiliation within a safe context, we can free ourselves from real fear and enjoy the erotic experience of being put in our place.
For lots of folks who have these kinks, the desires to experience them can themselves lead to feelings of shame and guilt. Maybe someone has an erotic fantasy about getting a wedgie, but knows that’s a “weird” thing to fantasize about, so they repress their desire and feel ashamed of it. Then, when they finally connect with a partner whose idea of a happy relationship is casually wedgieing them as they cook breakfast, they are flooded with feelings of affirmation and empowerment. That’s the connection that’s really important here: the link between humiliation and empowerment. For the folks who showed off their tiny dicks on stage at Rockbar for the pageant, they were being teased and emasculated within a safe container where everyone ultimately admired them for their bravery. By indulging in their fantasy of being teased in public, they were empowered to feel good about their kinks and about themselves.
That’s a fascinating dynamic! You host a monthly event at Rockbar that serves the chastity scene: subs have their dicks locked in “cages” that their doms hold the keys to. There’s a lot more to it than that, but that’s the core of it I think?
Yeah, I host a monthly chastity social called “Locked” on the second Tuesday of every month at Rockbar in the West Village, here in New York. It’s a chance for folks who are into chastity to connect with each other, chat, and play. Anyone locked in a chastity cage can show me their cage for a free shot, so it’s got a very playful atmosphere that encourages everyone to show off! It’s also a welcoming space, so anyone who’s even remotely curious is always encouraged to come by, regardless of their gender, sexuality (yep, even straight guys are welcome), race, age, ability, body type, experience level, etc.
In terms of chastity specifically, you have the basic idea right… although lots of folks wear a cage without a dominant partner (keyholder), and some Doms and tops enjoy wearing cages sometimes, too. Having your genitals locked up really increases your sexual desire, as you tend to get more horny the longer you go without an orgasm. But since your genitals are locked, you have to find other ways to release your sexual energy—bottoming, toys, bondage, other kinks like piss play, etc.
The chastity scene, the pup scene, etc. are kinks that queer folks have been recently enjoying in local venues like Rockbar and The Eagle, but before just a few years ago I wasn’t really familiar those worlds. Do you know why these specific kink communities have recently become so popular?
I think the internet is part of it. I got into chastity 25 years ago, when I was a 15 year old kid living in the rural Midwest, and for years I didn’t meet a single other person who was into it. Now Twitter and Instagram both have thriving chastity communities, along with more niche sites like FetLife. But it’s also the technology. Most chastity cages sold these days are 3D printed by an amazing company called KINK3D, which allows for very precise manufacturing in skin-safe materials, and those just didn’t exist 20 years ago.
But even more than technology, both chastity and puppy play tap into a sort of soft, supportive domination that is really resonant with a lot of people. The stereotypical image of a hardened, leather-clad Dom who just wants to abuse and torture people is still what most folks imagine. But the truth is, lots of submissives crave control that comes in a more supportive and nurturing form–like the domination of a teacher, a coach, or a stern but loving parent. These are figures that may discipline or punish, but are ultimately loving and caring. My keyholder keeps me locked in chastity not as a punishment, but as a way to push me to be the best version of myself. It’s all actually incredibly sweet.
That does sound lovely! An interesting aspect of chastity life, I think, is that it’s not just for weekly or monthly venue kinkfests. It’s often part of people’s daily lives—work and home—right?
It really depends on the person, but that’s definitely how it works for lots of people, and how it works for me. I’m locked in my cage 24/7 by my keyholder Jasper Reid, who often wears my key on a chain around His neck. I’m not allowed to remove my cage without permission, and even then, only to shave my pubes or if I have to see my doctor or something. He occasionally allows me to have an orgasm if I can manage to do that with the cage on, typically with a vibe wand held on the cage while I strain inside, but typically He makes me wait two or three weeks between them, maybe longer.
Learning to wear a cage all the time takes some practice. Your skin has to adjust to the friction and occasionally people will get sores from the cage rubbing or chafing (always take the cage off right away and let it heal). Sleeping in it takes practice, as any attempted erection can wake you up (get up and go pee and it’ll go away). And at first it can be distracting when you’re in public trying to focus on other things. But all of that goes away pretty fast, and for folks who are caged regularly it feels no different than putting on underwear or shoes or anything else we wear on our body to change how it hangs or functions in the world.
It’s also just fine to enjoy wearing a chastity cage without any focus on duration. I know lots of guys who enjoy being caged while they get fisted because it helps them focus on their hole, or when they get fucked because it helps them focus on their partner. I think a ton of people could enjoy using a chastity cage for an hour at a time as part of foreplay. Ultimately it’s a sex toy, and the way you use it and the meanings you ascribe to it are really up to you!
You are also a visual and performance artist… is that work inspired by or in tandem with your kink life? Or is it a separate world?
Those things are very connected for me. As a young art student, I was pretty lonely. I had all these fantasies and desires, but I was shy and awkward and didn’t know how to connect with people in the real world. So I used my art to express that desire, but also that loneliness. My work at that time was very personal and about my own interior life. As I’ve gotten older and more comfortable with who I am, my work has gotten more socially engaged in the scene.
Last year I made a body of photographs and videos about “Faucet,” a monthly piss play party that my friend Adam hosts. I decided to shoot the event using a thermal camera, which captures heat rather than light and translates it into colorful images (as in the movie Predator). Since thermal cameras don’t capture skin color, wrinkles, tattoos, or birth marks, and the images they generate are somewhat impressionistic, they can show the way figures interact without showing the identity of the people we filmed. This means all sorts of people agreed to be “on camera” who would never have allowed themselves to be filmed at a piss party in a more conventional way. It also really highlights the heat of the piss, which appears as molten liquid splashing over bodies and faces and flowing and into eager open mouths. I called the project “Heat Transfer” to highlight this way of connecting through exchanging bodily fluids.
But my work has really always been about envisioning a world where desire and pleasure are understood in a much more nuanced and accepting way. The truth is, there are so many strange, new, and delicious ways for us to experience each others’ bodies, and we have such a limited imagination about how those might fit into our lives and relationships. And of course there’s so much intolerance and violence around things that are ultimately safe and healthy when practiced with care; so it’s both personal but also very political. All of my work is about sharing my own journey of exploration and acceptance as a way to connect with others.
“Locked,” your monthly chastity kinkfest, returns to Rockbar on May 13! What can the folks expect for that week?
That’s right! This month at “Locked” we’ll have some special guests: “Sniffies!” They’re sending the hosts of their Cruising Confessions podcast, Chris Patterson-Rosso and Gabe González, along with a film crew to interview folks about chastity and get to hear their wildest, sexiest stories that involve being locked up. I think Chris and Gabe are going to try locking up before the event too, so they may have their own stories to tell. It should be a ton of fun, and it’s open to anyone. They’re even willing to blur your face and change your voice if someone wants to share anonymously.
And like you said earlier, you actually host two recurring events.
I also co-host a monthly party with Pup Roger called “Perv.” It’s on the last Friday of every month at 10pm at Rockbar. It’s more of a play party than a social, and we have a different theme each month. This month the theme is “impact play.” We have someone doing a paddling demo, and another person doing live flogging. I’ll also have some paddles and things on hand for folks to use if they want to, and I certainly hope to go home with my ass nice and red. For Pride Friday my friend Master R is doing a wax demo; he’s going to fully encase a naked sub in melted wax in all the colors of the rainbow Pride flag. He’ll be holding a trans flag in his mouth, too. It’s important to be inclusive even when we’re being dumb sluts.
What else is coming up for you?
I’ve also got a new film called Breakfast Time about puppy play, submission and scat play that’s going to be screening at the Hot Bits Film Festival in Baltimore (May 17) and Philadelphia (June 14). I’m excited to go see it in Philly; my background is in visual art rather than film, and I’ve never been in a film festival before! And last, I’m competing for the title of “Mx Kink 2025” on June 8 at Red Eye, which is produced by Dean Dante of Leather & Lace. I’m honored to compete alongside nine other amazing contestants… and while I’m obviously a little nervous, I’m so excited to get to connect with all of them: the judges and organizers, and of course the audience.
Lots of playtime on the calendar! Lastly… we’re living in unusual times where queer expression is under fire. What might your best advice be to someone who wants to go out and explore that world, but is afraid to do so?
Yeah, it’s really scary times; it’s easy to slip into despair. I think it’s important to remember our roots and look back to our queer ancestors who left us a rich history of resistance to draw from. I’ve read Close to the Knives every few years since I was in my 20s, and it’s probably time for another go. There’s an apocryphal saying about living through the AIDS crisis in the 80s and 90s that goes: “In the morning we bury our friends, in the afternoon we protest, and at night, we dance.” It’s heartbreaking, but there’s a lot of wisdom here.
It’s important to take time to grieve. The violence we’re seeing in the world right now is unimaginable, and we must allow ourselves to feel it, to sit with it, and to share those feelings with each other. But we can’t let it overwhelm us, because we also have to keep working as hard as we can to change it. We have to protest, give money when we can, call our representatives, speak the truth, and use the power that we do have for good. But we also need joy. We need to dance, to feast, to fuck, to remember what it is about queer community that we’re fighting to protect.
We’re in a time when we need good artists. Grief, change, and joy—all three are about humans telling stories and connecting with each other. Artists have a lot to contribute, now especially. So my advice would be to be brave. It’s hard to be vulnerable–to put yourself and your vision into the world–but we must rise to meet the moment. Tell your story. Share your feelings. Paint your visions or your hopes or fears. Embarrass yourself in the name of the freedom to do so. If we don’t use the freedoms we have, we may as well not have them–so walk down the street in a thong. Don’t overthink it. Be weird, and surprise yourself. If there’s ever a moment to push yourself, now is the time.
Well said! Thanks, Peter!
Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Peter Cage’s upcoming appearances, and follow him on Instagram, BluSky, LinkTree and his website.
Thotyssey 