By LeNair Xavier
Thotyssey presents a column by LeNair Xavier, a writer/poet who has worked in many levels of the sex industry, and has a lot to say about the social politics of sex, porn and sexual etiquette. [Cover image: Henry Scott Tuke “The Critics” 1927 Courtesy of Leamington Spa Art Gallery & Museum (Warwick District Council) [Cover photo: gaytravel4u.com]
Over the last couple of years, you might have noticed criticisms within the gay community about the nudity and sexuality at Pride events. Primarily the Pride March. Demanding it be treated solely as a protest. I side with this only to a degree since the Gay Rights Movement and its Pride marches were incited by gays having enough of the harassment imposed upon them by law enforcement in what should be their safe spaces. But that is where it ends.
My need to write this article is because this negativity coming from within the LGBTQ+ community (of all places) threatens to:
- cause shame in those who are sexually liberated and responsible about where they show it (as I strive to be). A shame I refuse to feel as it would be a step backwards for me. As well as to those that we sexually liberated people might have inspired with our platforms to not necessarily be overtly sexual, but inspired to come out at all. Even if it is just to themselves to start;
- wrongly influence those who are newly out. For I recall when I was newly out, I was quite impressionable on some things. If I heard something that seemed like it was considered a “rule” to being gay, I considered following it. Sometimes I followed it, other times I did not. My taking of pauses might have been because I came out when I was older (age 30). And much of my identity detailing how my gayness should be displayed was decided during my questioning phase. Fast forward to today, over 20 years later, the better (but not complete) social acceptance of homosexuality has allowed gay and bisexual people to be more forthcoming to family, friends, and themselves at an earlier age about their self-awareness. During their youth, to be more exact. This sex negativity from within the gay community threatens to undo that. Making sexual repression the new “rule” for gays to follow to appease the homophobia within the sexually hypocritical mainstream.
To further prove my point, correct me if I’m wrong, but you hear nowhere near as much disdain for skin displayed at other parades. So who would we be trying to please by shaming our own? Absolutely no one worth acknowledging.
Prejudice towards LGBTQ+ people is over 2 things…their sexuality and gender identity. With that being the case, it only makes sense that sexual displays & bared skin would be in many marches. A BIG “Fuck you!” to those who try to silence us from existing. Especially now in 2024, which is over half a century after the Stonewall Riots.
Yes, the Stonewall Riots of 1969. The 1st Pride Marches happened the following year. That was 55 years ago, and a lot has changed for the better. Such as displays of sexuality in media. So Pride Marches have evolved to reflect this advancement. To where they are also parades. Hence why many have come to call them “Pride Parades”. For they see the evolution I’m speaking of. As these marches are not only being a protest against LGBTQ+ presence being treated as invisible and unworthy of equal protection under the laws of the land, but also a celebration of how far we have come. Being at long last seen as the sexual beings that we are and should be proud of being.
Lastly, as someone who has been a watcher of NYC Gay Pride March as well as a participant, I am well aware of how the Pride March is broken up into contingents. With that being the case, if a watcher does not want to see the partial nudity allowed, there are contingents in the Pride March to appease that. Trying to scrap that altogether “for the children” (the go-to excuse) is born out of: 1) an attitude of entitlement; 2) desire to appease a sexually hypocritical mainstream, and; 3) parental laziness. Because if a part of the Pride March is coming up that you don’t want to see, or you don’t want your child to see, then move and go elsewhere. It is not the March organizer’s responsibility when they have already done their part by making the contingents.
With all that said, when you hear or read the rhetoric against the sexuality and nudity displayed in Pride events, don’t let it undo your progress in accepting yourself. For by just coming out alone, you have come too far for turning back to be of any positive value.
Happy Pride!
LeNair Xavier can be found frequently at the Cock, and at various other exhibitionist-friendly venues. He can be followed on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. He guest blogs occasionally for Kiroo.com.
Thotyssey 