Recording artist, content creator, full-on snack and self-identifying Slut for Butt, we are counting the seconds until Roman Darkholme becomes the new face of New York nightlife!
Thotyssey: Hi Roman… aka “Slut?”
Roman Darkholme: How dare you! That’s “Mr. Slut For Butt” to you! Lol, you can call me Roman. My socials are @slutforbutt, and my show is called “Slut For Butt Live.”
Thank you for the clarity, lol! So summer is finally winding down, how did the season treat you, Roman?
My summer has been solid. I made a ton of gay music, performed regularly at House of Yes, got to do my show for the first time at The Stonewall Inn (which meant a lot to me), and I got banged-out by some monster dongs. And I sold a bunch of merch to help raise money for a long LA tour I’m planning.
Congrats all around! Tell us about that Stonewall show, Chauncey Dandridge’s “Freak Out!”
It was an incredible experience. Chauncey stacked the lineup with amazing talent, so I was really excited to see everyone and do my thing. Honestly, Stonewall went better than I could have possibly imagined. My act uses portable rear projection screens and a custom rig, so I came earlier in the week to do a tech rehearsal. Chauncey had never seen my setup in action; he watched me do a few numbers, and asked me to do another show together in November. That’s kinda the dream. I love when people see what I’ve built and get excited. It’s the best complement.
I performed some new unreleased songs like “Body Work”, “Nice To Meet Ya”, and my latest release “Say It’s Gay”– which is a fun celebration anthem of gay people and pop. My live version of “Say It’s Gay” even features visuals of Stonewall icons like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, so I had to perform it. I also performed my “gay TED Talk.” I told the audience, “performing at Stonewall means more to me than performing at Buckingham fucking Palace.”
So you create music, merch and social media content… if someone were to ask for fuller description of the Roman Darkholme experience, how might you summarize what you do as a creative?
Imagine if Lady Gaga was poor… and her own roady. She still had a full show, with choreographed lights and visuals and gay bullshit, but it could be set up in a your living room, a venue, a basement, or outside. Toss in some comedy, some heart, and the aesthetic of a gay computer, and that’s me!
I love music with video and lights, all together. And I realized if I wanted to do the show of my dreams, I’d have to build it. I’d have to Learn AV engineering, DMX lighting design, video asset design, and create this beautiful crazy thing.
But you don’t need to know any of that to see it. It’s about how it makes you feel. Cuz when I finish, I want you to feel like you just watched Legally Blonde; I want you to feel joyful, elated, and gay AF.
Sounds right up my ally! Where are you from originally, and how did all this begin?
I’m from Oregon, raised by a single mom, Reba style. My dad was from Cuba, and would be played by Charles Barkley. I always loved drawing and visual art, and music and comedy. So what I do now is kinda a mix of that. I came to NYC alone when I was 19–and it’s been a journey of finding myself, finding what I love to do, and working to make it happen.
Social media is a big part of what you do–both as a promotional tool and as a platform for the actual content you put out there. Is that process a massive undertaking?
Let me be clear: I am a total internet flop, lol! Making cool, funny and beautiful things comes very easy. I love making things! And I put a lot of pressure on myself for even a small post, for it to be everything that I love and to be well done.
But I’ve never “clicked” on social media, or like, blown up to a bunch of followers. I have a growing group of people who love my work, and some of them are artists I really, really respect. But, for instance, I started uploading animated videos with music to Instagram, before they had a feature to add music. I just thought it was better that way. But in those early days I was immediately shadowbanned for copyright since Instagram didn’t have music rights at the time.
That’s stressful!
Yes. But, I think for me at least, trying to chase the algorithm is a losing battle. I built everything I’ve built so that I could do the stuff I do on the internet in real life. And so I wouldn’t be bound to any particular platform. No shade: the platform–Instagram–is part of the reason why I started animated videos in the first place.
But even if it doesn’t [“click”], I still have the insurance of spending time doing something I’d love; if it’s something that makes me happy. If I do something inauthentic, and it doesn’t go viral–I’ve lost twice. Lost the time I spent making some thing I wasn’t interested in, and lost because I don’t care for the end result. If I do something, I love it, makes me happy… maybe I’ll pop off on the internet, and maybe it won’t.
You have a great look, by the way: the boys love a fit bod and a lustrous mullet! Where do you spend more time, the gym or the salon, lol?
Thanks, ha! Yes, it is my goal to look like a ’90s porno at all times. The body is utilitarian, and by design. I have always had an enormous Cuban ass, and big Cuban titties. But I started working out once I designed my rig. I can’t afford a roadie, and I have to be able to lift and quickly maneuver 300 pounds of equipment up and downstairs or outside, and get it out of the way when I get shut down by the cops doing street performances. I had to gain a lot of muscle to make this possible.
But also, I’ll do better in the LA market if I look like a beefy hot slut, lol! Full disclosure: I go to the gym every day with a friend. And I did a cycle of steroids to help me on this journey. I don’t mention that to encourage anyone–you need to be safe and careful, and do everything under doctor supervision.
I only mention it because, I think, sometimes we see actors in Marvel movies make these crazy transformations–they have help, and often times use performance enhancers. But they don’t admit it, and it makes people feel bad that they can’t achieve the same result in the same amount of time. So for me, I wanna be open about that.
We love that honesty! So you work at 169 Bar, a straight venue, and do not often perform (yet) in gay spaces. How did that develop, and what is straight bar life like? Are all dumb drunk people the same regardless of orientation, lol?
My relationship to the bar is completely insane. A lot of the weekend crowd is straight, but it’s the Lower East Side–full of gay all the time–so it’s a mix.
I live in the same building as the bar, and so does the owner–even though he’s disabled, and can’t come down very often. The owner was a sound engineer, in the 80s and 90s, did gigs for Madonna and Blondie, and made his own pop music. So he’s always kept the staff full of queer people, people of every color, and weirdos in general–not in a token way. And he’s done this since the 2000s… so it’s always been pretty gay for straight bar. The owner is insane, but he’s incredible. He makes all the final decisions. But he trusts me, so I deputize for him sometimes when someone needs to be there in person.
Now I work for the bar as a “switch hitter.” If we need a bartender, I work Bar; we need a barback, I work Barback; we need security, I work Security. It’s a great setup for me, since I do my pop thin.
As for drunk people— wasted people of any kind can be difficult. But I try not to judge; you see people on the worst night of their life often, when alcohol is involved. Most people are really cool and respectful, and they often ask to buy my shirt when I’m wearing it!
Queer nightlife spaces don’t offer tons of opportunities for live music performers nowadays, as the scene is still ruled by drag… but that’s arguably starting to change. Do you have any interest in performing in venues from that realm?
I am dying to perform in more queer and gay spaces. One of the weird things about what I do is that I built my show, and premiered it during the pandemic. I was setting up outside with generators, and doing pop shows before the police could come and shut me down. I did the same thing taking my rig across California.
It was an incredible way to start! And I loved it. But this means I didn’t get the connections with bookers, venues, etc. that I perhaps would’ve gotten if I started performing pop in a more conventional way. The biggest hurdle is getting the venues and bookers to understand what I do. Once they see it, I usually get booked immediately. But if you send a message to their Instagram, they usually don’t understand that I build my screens, and I perform live, and it’s portable, so we can fit in many spaces.
I started performing at House Of Yes because one of the bookers came to a studio show I did. They’ve been extremely supportive ever since. I cannot wait to perform at more gay spaces. If you are a hooker who works in booking, I want to show you what I can do.
Consider the word spread! Tell us about your next “Slut For Butt Live” show at 169 Bar on September 25th! What can we expect?
You can expect gay insanity and pop joy. Wendy Williams, gay TED Talks, slutty pop music about Lord of the Rings, delusional bops in which I pretend I’m dating Timothée Chalamet. And my friend DJ IT Boy will be DJing around my sets. He’s the best! If I make the bar a bunch of money off the crowd, I’ll be able to do shows there all the time. So, turn out if you’re a slut. And if you have an older boyfriend with an AMEX.
Remind us once more what else is coming up for you!
I’m doing a Stonewall show with Chauncey on November 22 (the day before Thanksgiving, for all the real New York hos). I’m typically at House Of Yes a few times a month, but I find out about those gigs the week of the show… so keep an eye on my Instagram. And I’m looking to perform in gay places across New York, and gay spots in Los Angeles starting December! So hit me up.
Excellent! Okay, lastly… if Timothée is reading this right now, do you have any messages for him?
Please don’t sue.
Lol! Thanks, Roman!
Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Roman Darkholme’s upcoming appearances, and follow him on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and his website.
Thotyssey 