Keep cute with Kellen at Flaming Saddles Saloon!
Bar that I work at: Flaming Saddles Saloon
How long I’ve worked there: 2 YEARS (which is, like, 10 in gay bartender years)
What are my shifts: Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday NIGHTS starting at 8pm
What makes this bar great: For me, it’s the highs and lows. This bar can go from a screaming mad concert venue with patrons throwing cash, bartenders dancing on the bar top pulling out FULL numbers, kicking drinks, spraying people with water, and pouring tequila down their throats… to a chill saloon where the bartenders ACTUALLY talk to you and smile.
Best drink I make: Whipped Nuts
I love it when customers: Compliment my butt.
I hate it when customers: Finish a drink and put the glass in the middle of the bar. What’s clear, casts no shadow, impossible to see from 6 feet up, and will go sailing across the room when kicked? A glass in the middle of my damn bar. Don’t. Do it.
Craziest thing I’ve seen here: Miranda Lambert take a penalty shot and wipe the tequila off her face with her hair. That’s a bad bitch.
(*whisper* The real craziest thing I can’t say on the internet…you’re just gonna have to come in and ask. It’s insane, and quite possibly the reason I’m gay…er.)
Other places I’ve worked: Back in Michigan–you wouldn’t know. Lol
My hometown: Traverse City, Michigan (Google it – it’s the most beautiful place in America)
Stuff I do when I’m not bartending: Star Wars Legos, Star Wars movies, nerd out about Star Wars, visit my bartending family at their workplaces, judge pizza from around the city, wear crop tops and thongs, be that hoe over there, travel to fetish events around the country, seek out pool parties, gym, and volunteer for a non-profit social advocacy group called #postshame.
Single or Taken: Purposefully and Happily single. I date, but I’m not gonna slap a title on it until I’m good and ready.
Who/what turns me on: The Eric Prydz “Call on Me” music video. And the Mountain from Game of Thrones. Basically I just want a man who looks like he opens jars for a living, and feels at home in a neon thong singlet.
Favorite music: Goldfrapp, Muse, Bonnie McKee, Cam, Janelle Monae, Above & Beyond, Imogen Heap, The Darkness
Favorite movie or TV show: STARWARS, 30 Rock, Archer, Rick and Morty, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, anything Marvel
Favorite drag queen: Oh my god, Saddles after 3am becomes a drag bar on the weeknights. All the local girls come and wind down after their shows. I have too many local girls to name and to name one would be social suicide BUT LOOK AT ME DO IT ANYWAY
Favorite Local: Pixie Aventura. If you haven’t seen this girl, you haven’t seen drag.
***Disclaimer: to all my other local girls, friends, and family PLEASE don’t blacklist me for not mentioning you all by name–you’re pillars of our community and it would be the end of me, also I’m more scared of Pixie than any of you. (Except Brita Filter–I still haven’t forgotten all the shots you made me do on stage)
Favorite drag Celebrity: Alyssa Edwards – I laugh every time she talks, makes a sound, or moves.
My drag name would be: Kellen Heller
Favorite gogo boy: Is this a thing? I don’t think this is a thing. Tell ya what, once one does more than shake his ass and bop his fist in front of his chest I’ll have a favorite. The stunts my boys and I do on a 2-foot wide bar put gogos to SHAME. You’ve got a good body? Great, whats your name? You forgot? Cool. Good talk.
Favorite DJ: The Thin White Duke–not a local, but dude just gets me.
Other stuff you need to know about me: I don’t get offended at being described as “Corn Fed”…anymore.